I decided to start the new year with a goal so big, that the only way I could prove anything I’ve learned so far is working, would be if this happened. I decided to start my own company and that is why I am here.
I want all women between the ages of 40 and 60 to take a look at themselves and answer this question: who have I been taking care off for the fist 40, 50 or 60 years of my life? If you can honestly say you took care of yourself first, then this blog is not for you. However, if you, like me, took care of family and friends and a job…then you have come to the right place and I want to hear from you.
Today is a test of how this blog works. By tomorrow, I will let you know what I am planning for 2009. Stay with me and together, we are going to make magic happen.
I am a firm believer on the power of intentions. I intended for 2008 to be a very special year, and so far, I cannot complain. What I am wishing for 2009 is more and better than this year that just went by (and is about to end next week).
I am hoping that the next year brings me more health, a stronger body, a happier outlook, and better cooking skills (let’s face it, I suck at cooking).
I am wishing for the new year to bring about the birth of my new company and that we hit the ground running, because I have many plans for all around me.
And for last, I am expecting that everybody I know, whether personally or through the different social networks I belong to on the internet, has the best year ever in 2009.
What are you wishing for?
Keep trying.
“People who haven’t experienced absolute loneliness for long stretches of time can never sympathize with it at all”. Elizabeth Bishop, June 30th, 1948
A friend of mine recommended a book to read. This is a friend that I care for deeply and who’s opinion I respect. The book is based on the correspondence between two poets of the 20th century. They were friends and wrote letters to each other for 30 years. The book, so far, is fascinating. Although, some times I feel like I am spying on some very personal information, and at other times I feel like i am getting a pick at the gossip of the literary figures of the time.
There is a reason why I mention this book in a blog about motivation and health. The quote at the beginning is something that stays on my head long after I read it. Loneliness has nothing to do with how many people you are surrounded by. And only people who are lonely for long periods of time understand this quote.
For those of us who struggle with our self esteem and out health, loneliness is a double edge sword. We crave the time when people are not scolding us about our weight and other personal issues. But if we create an invisible wall and stay within it, we feel lonely and misunderstood. So where should we draw the line? What should we do?
I don’t have an answer yet, I guess somewhere in between. I need to be alone to create and to write. I want to be alone when I exercise because I don’t want anyone to see my “flaws”, but I wish I could share with the people around me some of the struggles of the daily life. And not feeling like I can share my feelings without being judged has created a wall, that I am not ready I want to bring down just yet. Where is the line drawn? As soon as I figure it out, I will let you know.
Keep trying.
After what felt like a lifetime ( it was more like four days) I finished my list. Oddly enough, once I got to 85, goals just started pouring out. Even last night I was dreaming of new goals to put on the list. Interesting!
But now, the job is not done. You see, when you make a list of goals, you have to start working on ways to achieve them. You have to create an action list, transport it into your daily to do list and get cracking. What have I achieved today, at 9:44 AM?
I know there is laundry to be done, a house to clean, things to arrange, but to me, right now, the most important goal is to learn as much as possible. To build a business the way I want it, I have to start with a business plan that will serve more as a storyboard. This is what I want and how I want it to be. Then, I will have to make a list of the tasks that I have to do to make it so. And as I go building my storyboard, I am studying and analyzing the experts, to see what they did and how they did it. I am looking for ideas to bring to my project and make them part of my strategy. I AM READY!
I want a business where I can teach people what I am learning on my journey. Two months ago I said no more soda. I have not being perfect. I’ve had some soda and a couple of ice cream missteps, but I am still trying. And the one thing I discovered is that those things I felt I needed to sweeten my day (like the ice cream and the soda), I don’t need them anymore.
Little things like that will make for an experience that will transform my life. Every little bit helps. I hope you never stop trying.
Keep trying.
You would think that wanting so much stuff, filling a list of 101 things you want before you die should be easy. Well, it is not. After five days, I only have 66 and some of them are downright dowdy.
I do have some lofty goals and ambitions, and some silly but cool ones, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of more than 66. I could separate every country in Europe and add about seven or eight individual goals, but that would defeat the purpose of goal #40, live in Europe for a year. When I wrote that I thought about being the nomad, spending a month in each country, traveling by train.
So many things I want to do with my life, but when I am asked, so many becomes not enough. I would think that having anything you want, no limits, would be so great that I would make the list in an hour. It is, in reality, so overwhelming, after five days I am still 44 goals short. Anybody has any suggestions?
Keep trying.
I am reading a book that challenged me to write a list of measurable goals. Things like: trip to Italy in the summer of 2010 or learn to scuba-dive and get certified by the summer of 2009. I have the piece of paper and the pen ready, and to my shock, even though I have tons of goals, I get writer’s block.
What is so hard about putting goals on paper? Could it be that my brain knows that once they appear on paper I have to work on achieving them? And that terrifies me? Wow, what a dilemma.
I don’t know why all of a sudden I find it so hard to get through this. I know it has something to do with the seriousness of my intentions. I have every intention on following through on that list. I know I can do it, but fear is paralyzing me.
I will not give up on my dreams. I will not sit here and pretend that I don’t have goals and dreams I want to reach. I will not fake my way through life anymore. I will do what needs to be done, to get my goals on paper and start working towards achieving them. This time, fear is not going to stop me. I will keep trying.
My birthday was on Friday and I had a great time. I went to a fancy restaurant with my girlfriend. We went to a couple of different places. We had fun. Then I got home at 1:30 AM and had to help at work (at 3:00 AM) so I was up until 5:30 AM. It has been a long time since I had lived through a 23 1/2 hour day. It was fun, but harder than in the past. But then I got up at 10:30 AM to get ready for a lunch date with another BFF. She invited me to lunch. We had a great time as well.
So now, I have all this great places I tried for the first time, and I would like to go back to. And the best part is the food was exquisite. Now I have to up my workouts. So, this morning, I did 15 min. on the stationary bike, 20 to 25 minutes of salsa lessons and about 10 mins. of weight bearing, upper body exercises. I feel like a million bucks. And this afternoon I have a 30 min. walk.
I guess the good part about November is my birthday celebrations usually last most of the month. The bad thing is that they are over and I have to go back to life. But, I have great memories, and I am already planning to have an even bigger party next year…when my birthday is on a SATURDAY.
Not everything has to be work or workout. Some times, it is OK to have fun. Keep trying.
As the 21st approaches, and I am getting ready to celebrate my forty-second birthday, I am inspired by one of many books I am reading to come up with a purpose for my life. As I sat down and did the exercises that helped me create such a goal, I started thinking about the direction of my blog.
I am not only here to loose weight (I have now spent ten days at 199), but to inspire others to achieve their potential. I hope that my good times will teach others things to try and my mistakes will serve as inspiration…at least I am willing to try new things in order to get healthy and look good. This is the one place where I have kept my thoughts for the longest time. I should embrace my purpose in life and teach through this.
So, you may be wondering, what goal did I come up with? What is my purpose?
My purpose is to use my creativity and my ability to learn on the fly to teach others and help them achieve a world in which we all take care of the planet and each other.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to do it, and how to make a living while doing that, and I will be in the right path. Keep trying.
Today, I finally broke the 200 pound line. I officially weight 199.6 pounds. And I am still at that time of the month when I am retaining water. I screamed when I saw that. I was really happy. I was excited for the day ahead, election day. It is a new day and I have a great outlook.
Now, it is 7:30 PM and the election results for PR are in. The people of the Commonwealth of PR just elected a man that is turning this country over to the 100 richest people in the country in order to “revive” the economy. When have you ever seen a millionaire do something for the good of the “people”. When a millionaire is into making money for his company or his business, he does not give a damn about anyone else. There are only a few notable exceptions to that rule, like Oprah and Tiger Woods, but even Ted Turner and Bill Gates made huge fortunes BEFORE they decided to help others. I’m astonished at the results, but it all goes to show you, people will do the weirdest things.
So I am upset about the results and extremely dissapointed. However, I am not going to sit there and eat and have yet another reason to get upset. I am going to clean my office and start working towards the next twenty pounds. I am going to make an action plan for the party I have on the 15th, and I am going to plan my birthday. And then, I will sit down and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Because the life I have now, in the place that I am now, is not healthy for me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be in a better mood, but right now, I am giving myself permission to be upset, without stuffing myself with food.
Keep trying.
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