New Year and I have not started yet?

Of course not. You are a procrastinator, like me and you did not get ready for this.
Let’s see: did you get busy with work, family commitments, life in general?

Believe me, I am right there with you. The only difference between you and me is that I am not stressed about it.
Today, I got this really great tip on Marie Forleo’s blog In preparation for the new year she gets rid of what no longer serves her. I started yesterday unsubscribing from most lists and making a statement on Facebook that said that if you did not have a presence on Facebook or Twitter, I could no longer receive your emails. Why? Because I don’t have time to read them all. I do keep my eye on Facebook and Twitter and check blogs as they become available.

I am still a fan, just not a slave to email.

Tomorrow, I will tackle the last side of my bedroom that is still messy and the rest of the week I am rearranging my blog in its new home. How about you? What are you doing to get ready for the new year that began this weekend? Let’s talk about it.

Is Happy the New Sexy?

I love when I see that sense of humor is one of the options on every quiz on what makes a woman sexy. It also applies to men. It makes me wonder about all you ladies of a certain age.

We have gone through so much in life: marriage, jobs, children, parents, companies, and more. Having a good sense of humor, specially during the hardest times, make the difference between surviving and thriving.

For me personally, I have noticed that the less I judge others, the happier I am and the more positive things I can see, even in a bad situation. I’m not perfect and some days, it is hard to swallow when a person does something annoying. For the most part, I have noticed that my anger lasts only seconds when I remember two things:
1) do not judge others based on your personality, level of intelligence or abilities, because you are the only one with the levels you have. Every other person is different. Some are smarter, some are not and you cannot think that your mentality applies to others.
2) having a good sense of humor diffuses a bad situation, even a robery or a heart attack. Remember, it is not what happens to you, it is how you interpret what happens to you, that matters.

Love During the Holidays

This year I decided to help the birth of my business by getting a seasonal job. I have learned a lot about myself and about others during this month. The most interesting question I make myself is the meaning of the holidays.

On Black Friday I watched people making long lines and trampling each other in order to get into the stores. Others were interviewed. Some were happy and others were upset. And I ask you all: if you made the decision of waking up early and taking advantage of the sales, are you happy or mad? Does that reflect the spirit of the holidays? What is your intent?

I can tell you that I missed out on some of the savings. In this economy, great sales are really important to me. I’m sure they are also important to you. Just keep in mind that the gift is as important as your mood and if you are happy, the season will be great.

Home Again

We are back on this blog for a while. We are working on some changes for AviddivA and for now, the blog will be here. Later on, we will have a new home.

As you all know by now, I am working outside at the mall for the holidays. I don’t have a lot of time to write and I made the choice to write only once a week. So far,that has not happened. Today, as I get used to the new schedule, I would be able to write more often. For now, please friend us on Facebook and Twitter and keep up leaving your comments. We love reading what you have to say and your opinions are always welcome.

Thanks.

Some Days You Should Go Back to Bed

As many of you know, last week I had a little issue that inspired me to comment on going back to bed. In a nutshell, I went through a lot of trouble to make an appointment, only to find out that appointment was the day before. Shocker!!! As the day kept going, I saw an accident on the road, the buses were late, I forgot to eat breakfast and got sick on whatever I ate, etc.

Most times, every coach and motivational speaker will tell you that you should keep going, break through barriers and move on. My advice to you is simple: there will be days when you should just go back home, curl in bed with a good book and start all over the next day.

Is my advice contradictory to what the gurus say? Not exactly. Notice that I said that you should start again the next day. This is the key. Some times, our best plans may not work out or the day might just go south, no matter how positive and empowered you feel. Those are the days when it is important to take a step back, regroup and the next day you will have renewed energy. I am asking you to stop, take a break and then go on.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments section below.

Living with Pain

I have a bad knee. It is possibly the worst kept secret in my life. Most people that knows me have heard of the things I’ve done to cure this ailment. I even considered surgery. The doctor said once healed, I would probably last about four or five years before the pain would come back. I decided to save my money.

Today’s post is about living with pain, ANY kind of pain. Some people have physical pain and many have psychological pains. We seem to be quick to medicate our pains, make them go away. If it is a physical pain, we can take a medication or a shot. If it is psychological, we want to numb ourselves. What is so bad about feeling the pain and learning to live with it?

Before you ignore my innocence, allow me to share the basis of my experience on the other side of the prescription pad. At different points in my life, I have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and mild to intermediate depression. I was prescribed Zoloft and its ugly little cousins three times. I discovered that I could not write my poetry or short stories if I was using these things and more importantly, I was not happy. I was not sad either, it was some sort of limbo that felt um-bearable.

This is why I don’t care for most medications. I believe too many of us want the easy way out, and some of us “pay the price later”. Think of those people who have back pain and become addicted to pain killers. Some of them die. In the state of Florida alone, we lost nearly seven people a day in 2009, according to this article in Sunday’s newspaper.

Yes, I do believe that pharmaceuticals and doctors should sit down and figure out how to deal with this issue. I think the pertinent authorities have a hard road ahead of them. In the end, it is our personal responsibility to put the meds away for good and experience life, all of it, including the pain.

If You Don't Like it, Change the Channel

I know I said that I was only going to post once a week and this would make two. And yet, I just saw something on TV that made me comment. It turns out that a writer on Marie Claire made some comments on her BLOG that require addressing in some manner.

Apparently, Maura Kelly was assigned to review or comment on the show Mike and Molly on CBS. I don’t know if you have seen the show yet, which is why I include the link. It is cute and it deals with the obesity epidemic head on. People who are overweight and obese will joke about their situation. I am not skinny, nor do I want to be a size 0. I can relate to their struggles with weight or feeling uncomfortable with the idea of breaking a piece of furniture because of their size (OK, I have yet to break any chairs or tables, there is the fear though).

The sad thing is that Ms. Kelly’s blog starts of with some very valid points. She starts by talking about our unhealthy obsession with perfection and the cost to our economy of the obesity epidemic. Mike and Molly are not simply overweight, they are on the obese side according to her statements. However, I don’t see any reason why they cannot have a show. We are surrounded by rowdy and disrespectful “reality housewives”, shows about addicts kicking the habit, teenage pregnancies and others. The same way I don’t think these shows are advocating bad behavior, addictions or teenage pregnancy, I don’t think that is the point of Mike and Molly. I believe the point of this show is that life does not end because you are heavy. And there is where Ms. Kelly missed the mark.

The bottom line for me is very simple: if I don’t like a show on TV, I change the channel. There is a thing in most houses called a r-e-m-o-t-e control. Ms. Kelly, just take it in your hand and change the channel.
Now, in the same link where the article is, you will see her apology for being insensitive. I found her apology interesting because if you read it all the way through, she seems to be justifying her very simplistic view of the issue of obesity. Let me be clear with all of you: OBESITY is not about food. You can eat healthy and exercise for the rest of your life. If you don’t deal with the issues that made you gain the weight in the first place, you will never be a “normal” size.

Ms. Kelly mentioned that her review might be colored by her background with anorexia. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. When I was young I was anorexic and now I’m battling for my health (my weight is of no interest to me, my health is). I don’t pretend to guess what drove her to make the comments she made. I do believe that her view on the issue is all about the food and the exercise. That is not enough. There is an entire psychology and body issues that has to be addressed if people want to get rid of the weight. I will give her and the magazine props for having the guts to apologize publicly. That is not easy to do and most people don’t bother doing that. If nothing else, her comments have opened a debate that is important. I hope the debate continues and I do encourage Marie Claire to keep the conversation going.

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