If you want to loose weight, have a reason

There are reasons and then there are motivations.  A reason is something that is logical and true.  A motivation is more of a feeling or push to get what you want.  If you want to shed weight in order to fit in a pair of jeans, get a job, get a man, get a life, those are motivations.  If you need to get healthy and the side effect is the lower weight, congratulations.  That is a reason.

I was appalled this week when a friend told me that her life coach told her to loose weight in order to have a “chance” with the man of her dreams.  I had to bite my tongue not to say that the coach was an idiot.  I mean, really, who says stuff like that.  The job of a coach is to help you get clear about your goals and help you to think outside the box in order to achieve those goals.  The job of a coach is not to give trite dating advice.  If the purpose of her visit was to discuss her weight, the coach could have emphasized the health risks of excess weight, the exacerbation of certain conditions, like asthma, the worsening of arthritis and other symptoms.  Those are good reasons to start eating better and exercising.  So what does this coach tell my friend?  In order to catch a man, loose weight.

What kind of man does she think my friend want, a shallow, self centered man who is into the package and not the content?  What does a skinny woman have that a fat one does not?  Why is there so many examples in Hollywood (and in the rest of the world) of beautiful, talented, rich celebrities that cannot find their soul mates?  It is not about the motivation, stupid, it is about the reason.  Your “reason” is simplistic and is not creating confidence in your abilities.

In the end, we all want to get healthier and look better.  But one more piece of advice for that so called “coach”.  If you “loose” weight instead of shedding it, the weight WILL find its way back to you, because it is a natural human instinct to find what it has lost.  Learn to speak with the proper terms, and while you are at it, learn something about the human condition, before you give such irrelevant advice.

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