Change Your Definition of Reward

Yesterday we talked about what is your payoff for not getting things done on time. I asked you to figure out what behaviors you keep repeating, probably since childhood.

Today, I am going to give you a choice on what to do about those behaviors. Keep reading only if you want to change your life. If you think your rewards for procrastination are what you want out of life, then stop reading. Do nothing, your life is perfect just the way it is.

If you want to make progress in any area of your life, let’s get to work. We identified behaviors we have been repeating all our lives yesterday. You might have identified one thing you keep doing over and over again or maybe you found more than one. Take one of the behaviors at a time. We will continue with the example I spoke about yesterday to illustrate what you should do. What do you do if the behavior you keep repeating is based on the idea that you are not smart enough?

The first thing I want you to do is question the belief. Are you really not smart enough? pretty enough? strong enough? What does enough mean to you? Who determined that measurement? Was it really your definition from the beginning or is it based on someone else’ standard? Using the example from yesterday, I did not feel smart enough because I always compared myself with my siblings. They were all very smart and it was sort of a competition. Going to school with them was no help since teachers always compared us. NOTE TO TEACHERS: when kids come to school, they are discovering who they are. Nothing kill individuality quicker than a teacher comparing us to our sibling (who you taught before). Stop that. Now, let’s go back to the example.

You are now a woman in your 40’s. You are an AviddivA. There is no reason why you cannot change that definition and the behaviors that accompany it to suit your needs. If you always felt less than, look at what you have accomplished, starting with the fact that you are still alive and reading this right now. If you are here, it is because you care about yourself and you are always willing to learn something new. Now, change the behaviors. This is the fun part. Go from biting your nails when you are frustrated, to drawing cartoons when you are frustrated. Start walking every time you feel disappointed instead of eating ice cream when you feel that way. Make a list of positive behaviors and substitute them into your current behaviors. It may or not take you closer to your goals. That is not the important thing today. Today, the important thing is for you to take your definition, stand it on its head and look for ways to change your behaviors into those that will support you and take you to the next level.

Tomorrow I will show you how changing your definitions and behaviors will help you with your procrastination. See you then.

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