Doing What is Necessary

I have always read and watched things that deal with people going through rough patches.  The Pursuit of Happiness is one of my favorite examples of this.  And just like this, we have tons of other examples of people that live in their car or loose their house, have to ride the bus and sleep on the floor.  I always watched these stories in amazement, thinking that I could never do that.

And yet in a sense, I am living those circumstances.  We have a house that we might loose if it does not sell soon, and since all my stuff is in Puerto Rico, I don’t have a car and I sleep in a cot on the floor of my bedroom.  Furniture is at a minimum, a few chairs and a sofa bed for my daughter, which also doubles as the living room couch.  And yet, even though we don’t have a lot, we have managed to go out to dinner every once in a while, we’ve seen more movies in the last year than I’ve seen in the last five combined, we’ve been to the beach (thanks to my sister), to the parks (thanks to my friend Zoe) and even to the Space Center (thanks to a rental when my husband came to visit).  We have found some beautiful places and done some cool things.  More important, we have learned to figure out the bus system so we can go anywhere and we do.

Some days, it is frustrating.  When I go to take workshops in downtown Orlando, the workshop is for a couple of hours and I spend the whole day getting there and coming back (2 hours in the bus, about 45 minutes walking in certain parts of the trip, each way).  I am not in my 20’s and lately I have noticed how important taking care of myself will be in order to survive days like these without needing a week to recover.

Still, the more I live the life I have now, the less I miss the life I had before.  I’m not going to lie, I want to have my own car.  Grocery shopping in the bus is no fun.  I love to recycle and that has been almost impossible to do here (my apt. complex does not recycle).  Then again, I think the public transportation use is making up for the lack of recycling and I do get some recycling done, by way of giving the old newspapers to my girlfriend for her bin.  In the end, life is what you make of it.  If you want to enjoy it, you have to change your perspective about your circumstances.  Instead of thinking I ride the bus, I think to myself, I have drivers that take me anywhere.  I also have the ability to read in the bus, something I have never been able to do in a car (I get sick if I try).  More important, because I take this trips by myself, I am able to clear my head and enjoy my life more.

So when your life takes a turn, don’t get upset, get curious and enjoy the ride. I hope you will share with us some examples of your own changes of perspective in the comments section below.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sheila
    Sep 09, 2010 @ 17:57:08

    Ah, I have been “carless” for about two months now…..I get to stare out the window and look at it, but since it needs a transmission, and my license hasn’t arrived from the state….concerning my ability to work in an office, funds are slim. I’ve been really taking care of myself though, and BHW was the catalyst for rediscovering that there is a creative spark that needed to be addressed. Have alot of tools, so when I return to the “office madness,” I have the things I need to keep positive. I thought that being a vegetarian was going to resort me to “rice and beans, but that didn’t happen. I also got help replacing glasses I lost, and a tooth I needed filled……I have always hated to ask for help, but I never have been extravagant, I just didn’t know how to face that about myself! I had a great conversation with one of my clients…..who said: So did you expand?” That means that when I expand my heart, I can really connect! I’ve had to face that too! I’m tired of summer, and we’ve been blessed with the weather of Fall! Yep! I used to not give myself any credit for being a co-creator of beauty…….but now, I have to face it, and the slower pace it takes to fully embrace it! Be well, dear sister,
    Your “plucky” friend, Sheila

  2. ruby cantu
    Sep 10, 2010 @ 11:08:08

    I’m seeing more savings by not running my ac as much in the summer, I see the saving on gas in the winter as I can’t afford to heat up my house. In the colder months we cuddle together to watch tv….in the summer we get out to window shop in cooler places….we manage. Hearing someone else say their electric bill is $400+ makes me feel better when mine is around $60.

  3. Linni Durgan-Turner
    Sep 10, 2010 @ 21:26:30

    well, i lost my home and my children and i are staying with friends at the moment..i dont have a vehicle and it makes it really tuff when i have to go anywhere to rely on people.. id love to walk places however my health hasnt been the best and it makes it difficult.. I WILL OVERCOME all of this! this is just temporary! 🙂

  4. admin
    Sep 10, 2010 @ 22:27:06

    Linni, excellent attitude. And yes, I agree with you, it is temporary. Even if it lasts a little longer than expected, if you keep that attitude, before you know it, things will get better.

  5. jewelrybyirina
    Sep 10, 2010 @ 23:53:21

    I lost my job on August 13Th.
    I am still struggling, but I believe it’s temporarily. I am trying very hard to stay positive.

  6. admin
    Sep 11, 2010 @ 22:00:13

    I’m going to use your example for a simple lesson in how language choices affect us: don’t try, do it.
    What do I mean by that? When we say we are trying, in our head, the word try makes it ok to do it or not. You don’t want to be ok with not being positive. You want to stay positive. How do you stay positive? You say thank you and move on. Is it that easy? Yes it is. The problem that most of us have is that we wallow in it, feel terrible and then it does not go away. I’ll give you an example: in the last two weeks, I’ve had a ton of great things happen to me. Those things took a little time out of my schedule and so I did not plan my meals the way I should have. End result was that I gained two pounds. I could wallow in all the negative feelings of gaining weight. Instead, I said thank you. Why? Because it is a message that I have to work on planning for “surprises” in my weekly schedule and allow myself time to plan, no matter what. Once I looked at it from that perspective, I was able to let it go. If I would have allowed all those negative thoughts to stay, I probably would ignore my meals and gain another two (not pretty). So, you lost your job on August 13th. Take it as a signal from God (or whatever you believe in) that something better is coming and pay attention to what happens around you. Opportunities are not going to knock on your door and say “Here I am, the opportunity you need”. Some of them will look obvious and others will not. Keep your spirits up, don’t watch negative TV and keep going. I have faith in you. And thank you for sharing your experience with us.

  7. admin
    Sep 11, 2010 @ 22:04:48

    Sheila, my favorite vegetarian thing to eat is hummus with veggie chips. I take carrots or cucumbers as chips and dip them in hummus. It is quite possibly my favorite thing to eat. I am not a vegetarian, I do love some of the options. Keep up the great work and keep expanding.

  8. admin
    Sep 11, 2010 @ 22:11:38

    Ruby, great saving on your electric bill. I spend about $120 average during the summer. I live in the top floor of my apt. complex and my dog sheds in clumps if I let it go over 78 degrees. Ironically, he did not shed in clumps when we live in Puerto Rico. Then again, we had floors and not carpet there. Still, over there we had no AC and the stove was gas and I still paid around $90 every month. Technically speaking, we are spending less here. I save a lot in the winter because it does not get too cold. I can have the heater on 76 and it works. As far as the person that pays $400 a month, I could not afford that. Saving on electricity also saves the planet. Good job.

  9. Suzann
    Sep 16, 2010 @ 11:34:05

    Love your new blog. And love your attitude. “Instead of thinking I ride the bus, I think to myself, I have drivers that take me anywhere.”

  10. admin
    Sep 16, 2010 @ 23:08:05

    Thank you Suzann. There will always be days when things are not going to happen the way we hope. It is just a matter of changing our perspective and always looking for the positive.

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